Proper grub....

 

I'm not a big fan of fine dining (although I have enjoyed some very pleasant meals in expensive restaurants, even Michelin starred ones). It just seems to me that placing a couple of small pieces of fish or meat on a plate, adding a spoonful of mashed potatoes and a couple of carrots, topping it off with some leaves from an indeterminate plant and a few decorative smears of mystery sauces on the plate (always twice the size of the one needed) do not a meal make. Sure, it all looks as pretty as a picture, and tastes pleasant enough. But if the criteria of a "meal" is to dispel hunger, then sorry - not for me. I always feel the need for a kebab or a Big Mac or something afterwards, to be honest. I know, I know - I'm a food Phillistine with no taste. I readily admit it! Sorry.

So living in Poland is a good call, since the typical local cuisine could in no way be called fine dining (at least in the widely accepted sense of the term). That said, the two best fine dining meals I've had were here in Warsaw. One was in a new restaurant opened a few years ago in a converted factory or warehouse in the up-and-coming Praga district (formerly more famous for its Russian mafia connections) by a renowned tv chef - the atmosphere and food were excellent and Mine Host made our night by coming to our table for a chat, and presenting the kids with chef's hats - suitably autographed, of course. He has since opened two or three more outlets in other parts of the city, again all of them in up-and-coming districts, and all successful.

The other time was about 18 months ago, shortly before my cancer surgery, in another new restaurant in the centre of the city, and was a gift from one of my sons. It featured typical fine dining stuff, scallops, squid, venison and so forth, and ran to 7 courses, each matched with a specifc wine. Our waiter explained the composition of each dish and why the particular wine had been matched to the food, his knowledge (or memory) impressive. It was superb, and again we were able to have a chat with the head chef as we were leaving. I would happily go to either restaurant again, and I have no doubt thoroughly enjoy the experience - but that doesn't change my overall view of the fine dining product.

No, I like hearty, well cooked food that fills the plate and the belly. In my view you cannot beat a good plate of roast lamb with mint sauce and a selection of fresh vegetables. Or roast pork with apple sauce - indeed any roast: chicken, turkey, beef - and I could happily eat a plate of crispy golden roast potatoes with a splash of beef gravy every day. English fish and chips - yes, please. Bangers and mash with onion gravy - oh, yes. Pies, too - chicken and mushroom, beef and ale, a genuine Cornish pastie full of beef and vegetable chunks, all of them encased in a golden-brown pastry (and I'll take them with potatoes or chips or indeed on their own). Not keen on steak and kidney, though: my dad had a kidney removed when I was seven or eight, and the next day mum cooked a steak and kidney pie: the thought that dad might have donated the kidney freaked me out and I can't bear the damned things to this day.

Here in Warsaw there is choice aplenty.

For a start all the international fast food brands are fully represented - McDonalds and Burger King, Pizza Hut and Domino's and KFC for a quick and easy meal, Hard Rock Cafe if you want something a bit more substantial with cold beer and live music on the side. Within five minutes or so stroll from my apartment I can chose between three Italian restaurants, a couple of American diners, a couple each of Thai and Vietnamese, a proper Chinese Dim Sum cafe and two ordinary Chinese restaurants, a really good Indian (had an excellent birthday dinner there last week) and a couple of kebab houses. That's not to mention a handful of good patisseries selling fine looking cakes and ice creams and good coffee, plus some places specializing in Polish kitchen - soups, cutlets and roast meats with fresh veg or coleslaw and beetroot salad, pierogi (dumplings with a variety of fillings including potato, meat, cabbage, and cheese), savoury and sweet pancakes. So I'm not spoiled for choice. Go further afield in the city, and there are plenty of Mediterranean restaurants, Lebanese and other Arabic cafes, Balkan kitchen (notably Serbian and Croatian - seafood a speciality) and French restaurants. There really is something for every palate.

Then you have a distinctly Polish restaurant, typically found on the main roads between towns and cities throughout the country called karczma - in English, an inn. But these are not really like the inns I've been used to back home: basically a village public house in which to enjoy a beer and scampi-in-a-basket or ploughman's lunch with perhaps a game of darts or bar-billiards. No, the karczma are more like proper restaurants by the main road, not necessarily in a population centre, often surrounded by fields and forests. Think of an old fashioned Little Chef....

The buildings tend to be old and traditional Polish architecture, all wood beams and low ceilings and solidly built benches and cushioned chairs, and tables with white linen and table mats. From the outside, they can look like converted barns or stables (and probably are), surrounded by gardens with a kid's play area and a car park, and perhaps access to the surrounding woodland and countryside. I've seen many on our car journeys to the coast and elsewhere over the years, but we've always tended to grab a Big Mac or something at the service station when we're tanking the car for the next leg of the journey.

But the other week, I finally got to try one. We visited some friends out of town for a weekend, and on the Sunday piled into her car for a drive out. We visited a small town close to the Mazurian lakes that she had taken us to a couple of years ago (it stands on a river, and was an old Jewish village decimated in World War 2, its population virtually wiped out; its synagogue is now a museum portraying its past history and tragic end. There are many such places scattered throughout the country) where we bought a delicious cake, made of overlapping layers of crisp pastry, smothered in a sweet honey layer and powdered sugar - my mouth is watering at the memory! On the way home from there, a mile or two outside the village, we pulled into a karczma that was signed to be adjacent to country museum.

We strolled through the gardens and down a short footpath bordered on each side by rows of sponsored trees, each one marked by a small plaque with the name and effective date of its sponsorship - there were some quite famous people on them, I noticed: a couple of politicians, some actors and musicians. The path led out into farmland, past a lovely wooden cottage on the bank of a sizeable pond with a couple of areas marked off for fishing, through reed beds and hedgerows to an old farmyard with a couple of barns - the museum: it was closed. On three sides, perhaps a mile across the fields, lay woodland that in the green of spring and summer is without doubt a lovely place to wander.

We decided to eat in the karczma, and for me it was a revelation. The door opened into a sizeable dining area, and right by the door stood a big (perhaps five feet high) monstrosity that looked for all the world like a creature out of Tolkien but was in fact simply several years' worth of wax dripped and shaped by gravity and the run-off from the four or five candles the now completely hidden candelabra held. We sat at a corner table and ordered from a good menu of typical Polish country fayre, and when the food arrived (the service quick and efficient) it was superb. I ordered gołabki (rolled minced pork wrapped in sweet cabbage leaves, boiled and served in a thick herby tomato sauce - one of My Beloved's specials) served with a pile of mashed potatoes, fresh carrots, peas and shredded pickled beetroot, and washed it down with a large bottle of locally brewed craft beer. And for sweet, home-made szartlotka (apple crumble) served hot with a couple of scoops of vanilla ice cream. It was delicious, and I barely managed to eat it all. The roast duck My Beloved ordered looked equally fine, as did the pork and chicken cutlets (fried in breadcrumbs) that our friends had. Our friends picked up the tab, so I'm not sure how much it all came to - my feast cost about 120zl I think  (about £20) so was really good value for really good food.

For me, it was great discovery after all these years, proper grub in proper portions. Certainly worth going out of the way to find on our journeys around this big and fascinating country, rather than diving into the nearest McD or whatever at a motorway service area somewhere by the busy motorway. Yes, a country karczma for me every time now.