Travellin' Bob's Cruise 'n' Views

 

Hooray!

First trip of the year booked - back to Switzerland for some walking and relaxing in the clear mountain air in August, admiring the stunning Alpine scenery, and using the country's brilliant rail transport system to explore some new places.  I'm staying with My Beloved's cousin again (he hosted me a couple of years ago, and it helped my recovery from a bad post-Covid depression) but this time My Beloved is accompanying me.  We can't wait - now I need to hit my Fodor's Swiss Travel Guide and figure out where to go on our rambles around possibly my favourite country.

It's the first real holiday she and I have had since the kids came along: I discount our long weekend in England last autumn, as it was to attend my sister's funeral, so not really a holiday (though it was great to spend time with my sons back home and their families, even if only for a few hours).  Our last unencumbered vacation was twenty years ago, to Hurghada in Egypt, and it was terrific, despite my Rainman ability bringing the first showers (and heavy ones at that) to the town for seven years - at least according to the barman in the hotel, but I suppose he may have been joking...  Since then, as our family has grown, we have enjoyed vacations in Spain (twice), Crete, Portugal and Croatia, as well as various seaside and skiing resorts here in Poland, and of course many trips back home to England, and they have all been great and have passed the travel bug onto our kids. 

But now they are grown to their late teens (my youngest turns sixteen next month) and can fend for themselves, the shackles have come off and My Beloved and I are planning to spend as much time as we reasonably and economically can doing stuff and going to places we want to go to, to please ourselves and no-one else.  Hell, I'm 71 now, and though fit and well, with the best will in the world I'm closer to being forced to slow down because of age and infirmity than I was when we met, so we are determined to make the most of the years we have left......  I figure I can look foorward to ten to fifteen years before I have to pack the passport away and start a sedentary life of memories and reflection.

The world (or at least Europe) is our oyster.

--------------------------------------------------------

But there are some things we won't be doing.  Top of that list, for me at least, is cruising.

I've always been shy, finding it difficult to mix with strangers, and in my youth I have no doubt I missed out on a lot of, shall we say, interesting experiences due to my constantly being tongue-tied with the opposite sex.  I still find it difficult to relax in social gatherings, unless I know everyone there well....and inevitably that is rarely the case.  The year of depression I suffered, largely as a consequence of both catching Covid (twice) and struggling to find my place in the world after retiring 18 months or so prior to the Pandemic, taught me through some conversations with someone with psychology qualifications that my shyness was deeper and in fact showed that I was an introvert.  It was a relief to know, and in the couple of years since my recovery the knowledge has made things easier for me - although I know social gatherings will always be problematic.  But I can happily live with that: during my Travellin' Life spending hours solo on planes, trains, buses and automobiles, and days and weeks alone in hotels, I found that I am happy with my own company and don't need to be surrounded with other people to be happy.  A good book or two, some decent music playing somewhere in the backgound, good food and drink is quite sufficient, thank you very much.

So the thought of being cooped up with perhaps several thousand complete strangers for a week or two, no matter how luxurious the ship, no matter how interesting the itinerary, no matter how high the quality of both entertainment and cuisine, makes me shudder!  I know, I know - how is that worse than staying in a big hotel in some beach resort, you may ask?  Simple: in that situation I can hire a cheap and scruffy little car from the local Hertz and go off somewhere for the day, away from the crowds.  The fact is, I like to choose where I go and when I go there if I'm on holiday, not have someone dictate ir to me.  I have no wish to get up early for breakfast to then spend the rest of the day either sitting on a coach full of people to get to a Roman ruin or a flea market or a cathedral somewhere, and then traipse round in groups from other coaches, before having to pile back onto the coach to go somewhere else to do it all over again and get back to the ship.  And the same next day.  Or the next...  

Then there is the dress code issue.  It seems to be the rule to dress for dinner - shirt, trousers and jacket mostly, and a cocktail dress for the ladies, or more formally - which is to say tux and bow tie or ball gown, depending - in the case of Cunard.  Call me a Phillistine if you like, but doing that, for me, is complete overkill.  Again, I'm on holiday and I want to relax and chill out, and there is no way I can do that when I'm done up like a dog's dinner.  Give me self catering on my balcony, or a sea front pizza house or something, where I can wander in in my shorts shirt and sandals and enjoy some basic local cuisine over a glass or three of the local brew without feeling people are looking at me because my tie is crooked or my shoes not mirror shiny.

I'm not a swimming pool person - I tend to sink like a stone - so the multiple pools with or without a selection of water slides and a couple of hundred sun loungers that are available on the average cruise liner hold no attraction for me at all.  Nor does the zip line running the length of the shopping and cafe street that doubles as a disco and runs down the ship's centre.  Nor do the small and cheap inside cabins sans windows (I do like a view when I relax with my nightcap and a good book, watching the sun set over the blue sea, or rain running down the glass, more likely with me).  Nor indeed do the bigger and hence more expensive outside suites and cabins that offer balconies and the views I hanker for at a heinous price.

Just not for me!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

That said, I might be tempted by a river cruise, down the Rhine or the Danube or wherever.  For a start, the typical cruise boat only holds around 100 passengers: much easier for me to cope with. The itineraries seem more flexible, with fewer excursions (most of them optional) and the dress code more relaxed.  Sure, it's a much slower journey, the total distance travelled being far less than a cruise liner in the Med or the Carribean might do in a day, but that's ok: at least you have views on either bank to keep you interested  while you progress, certainly far more than God knows how many miles of open sea all around without another vessel in sight.  

The cabins all have windows (so natural light), even those at water level, and without lacking any amenities.  No pools or noisy discos or zip lines, and not much more than a piano bar in the dining room in the way of entertainment, but there's nothing wrong with a decent Piano Man - just look at Billy Joel or Elton John, who had similar humble beginnings (though in pubs and bars on land, not on water).  

It also means that day stops at towns and cities along the river for excursions are in my view typically less stressful, less reliant on bus transfers, and departures not dependent on a tide. Tieing up at a small riverside town with the opportunity of wandering at your leisure, exploring shops and museums and cathedrals and parks at your own pace, maybe offering the chance of a bike ride into the surrounding countryside, is much more to my taste.... 

Maybe I should give one a try sometime, once I've saved a bit of pension (they tend not to be cheap - the same as everything else these days).  If I do, then I will be writing it all up here.

---------------------------------------------------------

Oh, and a final disclaimer and credit.  I've never been on a cruise ship or river cruiser in my life, but have friends who have done so and do it regularly.  Good for them!  My opinions are all based on numerous videos about cruising (sea and river) that I've watched on a couple of You Tube channels: Tips for Travellers (Gary Bembridge) and Emma Cruises (Emma Le Teace - think I spelled it right) - they're both very entertaining and informative, and in my view give a good, warts-and-all picture of cruise holidays.  Thanks, guys!