What's it all about, Alfie?

Well, well.  This is something different for me. 

Been writing since I was a kid, for fun, mostly, but never taken it seriously.  I wrote loads of poetry at school (lost it all somewhere, sometime), loads of short stories in my late teens/early 20s (all science fiction, some were pretty good), also lost somewhere, sometime.  I wrote a novel once. about sex and booze and football, that a few friends read and were very enthusiastic about but again, I never got around to publishing it.  I still have it, so maybe I'll serialise it on this blog over the coming weeks and months, as I still have a handwritten MS in a couple of exercise books back home......  Plus one other short, a sort of erotic ghost story that may also appear here one day.

And diaries.  Played around with them too, on and off.  The last time was a momentous year, 2001.....my first marriage broke up, I left the UK more or less for good, 9/11 happened, and I met and fell in love with someone else - all of which changed my life completely (and for the better, too, thank God).

And then, pretty recently, I discovered the joys of The Blog.  There are millions out there (of course you know that), and I follow a few (mainly sport related) and read others as and when they catch my attention.  So yesterday I realised it would be as good a way as any of committing all my witterings to paper (sort of), get some pleasure of my own from the act of writing, and who knows, bring some entertainment and pleasure to the world at large.

Just for fun.  For the hell of it.  And for something to do when I'm stuck in a hotel room hundreds of miles away from my home and family.......


                                                      *              *                *


So what can you expect from this?

To be honest I have no idea.  There will be travel reports (I get around a lot because of my work)....not professional ones for sure but I hope they will entertain and give people some idea of what the place (wherever it may be) is REALLY like, away from the guide books.  My personal view, of course.  Kind of an on-going, ramlbing, close-to-real-time autobiography.

There will be gossip....family stuff, work stuff.  There will be comment about what's going on in the world.  Complaints and praise in unequal measure, I should think.  And whatever else I feel like posting.

It won't be daily thing, but the idea is to be regular,,,,at least one post a week, more if I have the time. 

So, to get started, here is some stuff about me......my Facebook friends might recognise it as it's a copy from my 25 Things... posts, edited and updated  (yes, I know there are 50 things....I did two posts)


                                                     *                   *                    *


1. I'm 57 now, but I don't feel it.


2. I share a birthday with Elton John.



3. My dad was a gardener at Chiddingstone Castle before WW2 and planted a load of water lilies in the lake that are still there to this day. They are HUGE now.



4. He met my mum when she was "in service" there. They got married and he promptly went off to fight the war in North Africa and Burma for 5 years. He must have had two leaves because I've got two sisters.



5. I was a late arrival: she was 38 and he 37. My sisters were both teenagers. My mum was not impressed when she found out she was expecting me, and threatened some pretty drastic DIY surgery. My mum and dad were great.



6. When I was 16 I cut off 3 fingertips in a 5 ton power press in a factory (summer holiday job). They sowed them back on again in an early attempt at microsurgery and I was back playing in goal for my school team in 12 weeks.



7. I was christened C. of E., spent my teens considering joining the Baptists but ended up spending all my married life (both times) married to lovely Catholic ladies. My kids are all R.C. and my three eldest sons were all altar boys.....and bloody good ones, too.



8. I wrote a book once. Semi-autobiographical, about sex and booze and football. It's a cracking read but I never got it published.....so if anyone out there is in, or knows somebody in, the publishing biz and fancies a punt let me know!



9. I supported Palace when I was a kid and still follow their results closely. Also Gillingham and of course England. But mainly I support Ebbsfleet Utd (Blue Square South this year….got relegated in May after 3 years of mismanagement by me and my fellow MyFootballClub “owners”. A sorry tale indeed…..). I’ve now left MyFC and will continue to support and help the Fleet in other ways, as and when I can.



10. I used to be a quite tasty ‘keeper when I was younger but never took it seriously.





11. I used to play cricket too.



12. For the last 11 years I've been working for a computer systems company and have travelled the world. It's the best job I've ever had.



13. In that time I've averaged 3 flights a week and have racked up over half a million miles flying time. I shudder to think what my carbon signature is like...... One day I really must get the diaries out and figure out the exact mileage.



14. Best place visited: I love Amsterdam. And Barcelona was nice. And the Big Apple.



15. Worst? Almaty in Kazakhastan was a dangerous shithole. Not too impressed by Mexico City either.



16. The 2 best inventions ever are the condom and the iPod.



17. I’ve been living in Warsaw (Poland) since 2000. Went there to do a two week job and been there ever since. Really should learn the language one day....



18. Poland's a great place, not at all how people imagine it to be. And it has changed tremendously in the years I've been there....for the better.



19. I love music. Got an iPhone for Christmas a couple of years ago and use it mostly as an iPod (my Polish SIM doesn't have roaming). I have a library of nearly 100 albums (over 1000 tracks) so far......everything from Beethoven to Bruce Springsteen via The Doors, Van Morrison, Frank Sinatra and Leonard Bernstein. It's cool and keeps me going on flights with no entertainment system.



20. Give me a good book and my music and I’m happy, wherever I’m going, no matter what the delay.



21. The only thing I miss about England (apart from my family) is Match of the Day on a Saturday evening and Question Time.



22. The best car I've driven was a 1989 Mazda RX-7 sports car. Looked the bollocks and went like the clappers. I also had a corporate entertainment day driving at Silverstone once, in a variety of race cars.....so cool.



23. My worst car was probably an old Peugeot 107 I bought for a hundred quid and drove into the ground.....absolute French crap.



24. Billy Connolly is possibly the funniest man on earth but not as good as he used to be. Bloody good actor as well.



25. Favourite book - Lord of the Rings. Favourite film - can't make my mind up between Star Wars (the first one), True Grit, Back to the Future (again the first one) or Top Gun. So it's probably Dumbo.



26. I nearly drowned 3 times when I was a kid. When I was about 2 (I fell in a water tank on my dad's allotment), about 6 (my sister's boyfriend decided to teach me to swim at Pevensey Bay by taking me out of my depth in the freezing cold sea and leaving me there) and at 10 (in my school's swimming pool).



27. This left me with a lifelong fear of getting out of my depth. I only learned to swim at 25, in the Med at Palma Nova, Majorca. I'm still a weak swimmer now and the fear is still there.



28. In Malta about 6 years ago I tried scuba diving. But I couldn't hack it.....that depth thing again. Ania got her PADI licence though. I just watched.



29. But I love the sea......



30. Favourite holiday destination: probably Crete. We went there a few years ago and it was lovely. Elafonissi is probably the best beach I've ever been too. And the sea was warm and shallow.



31. Every city in the world has an Irish pub. Whenever I go somewhere new with work I look for the Irish pub, that way I'm guaranteed decent food and beer all week and almost certainly English football on the telly. Even Almaty had 3....they kept me sane during nearly 8 difficult months. A free travellers tip for you.....



32. Global warming is a reality. My first winter in Warsaw we had a metre or so of snow from the end of October through to the end of March and temperatures often hit -20C (with a windchill on top of that). The last 5 years we haven't even had a white Christmas. Al Gore is right.



33. I have three grown up sons in England. I'm really proud of them.



34. In Poland I have a 5 year old son who is just gorgeous and keeps me young. My English sons were kind of surprised when Ania and I had him. I was 52 at the time.



35. Two years ago we had another baby.....and my first daughter, my little Princess Ally. She is the most beautiful little angel in the world. My kids were even more surprised. So was I......a daughter after 4 sons. Magnificent.



36. Kuba, my five year old, speaks better Polish than me. He and Ally will be fully bi-lingual.....a huge advantage in the 21st Century. They'll probably also learn French or German or something too, at school.



37. When it comes to languages, the English are lazy bastards......we never bother to learn another language properly because the rest of the world (particularly the business world) speaks English. Neo colonialist arrogance.



38. The first time I read Lord of the Rings (my favourite book) was in the back of a Ford station wagon on a drive from Ottawa to Niagara Falls and back when I was 19. I didn't finish it, but it changed my life. Two years later I bought it in Ottawa and I've now read it 9 times. Sam Gamgee rocks.



39. Thomas the Tank Engine is pretty cool too. My boy John was a huge fan when he was a kid and Kuba is too. He has a huge battery powered Thomas train set that is great....he loves it. Plus about 5 dvd's and a dozen books. I have to read them all the time to him.



40. The first girl's toy I ever bought was a little rag doll in Athens airport in 2008, a week after we found out Ania was expecting a girl. Better get used to it, because I'll have to buy loads more......





41. The worst traffic I have ever experienced is in Beirut. There is no public transport to speak of so everyone drives....badly. There are few white lines, the traffic lights only show flashing amber (even though there are green and red lamps, they don't work) and apparently no rules. It is total madness.



42. In Egypt a few years ago we went in taxis that drove at high speed in pitch darkness without lights....the drivers safe in the belief that Allah would not let them come to harm. Fuckin idiots.



43. One day I will go to Australia. I want to see Ayers Rock at sunset and a test match at the MCG. There are more animals and insects that can kill you in Australia than anywhere else in the world (according to Bill Bryson in his excellent travel book “Down Under”, anyway).



44. I once spent 2 months working in the Vatican. The project room was right next door to the Pope's offices but I never saw John Paul II.......my biggest regret. He was a wonderful man.



45. Our desks were 18th century antiques, there were masterpieces hanging on the walls and the domed ceiling was decorated by Michaelangelo.......the most extraordinary office I've ever worked in.



46. I'm not sure whether I want to be buried or cremated....probably cremated and my ashes scattered somewhere nice. But I don't want anyone spending a fortune on it....just an old wooden box will do (it's only going to be burned after all). And just wrap me in a sheet or something.....why bother with the best suit or whatever? And I'm really really sorry if this comment upsets or offends anyone.....



47. Best concert I ever went to: could be Springsteen at Earls Court, Billy Joel at Wembley Arena, Eric Clapton on the beach in Gdynia (2008), or the Who at Charlton Athletic. Mind you the Beach Boys/Eagles/Elton John at the old Wembley stadium was great too. And U2 in Chorzow (2009) on The Edge’s birthday…….50,000 Poles singing Happy Birthday and Sto Lat was extraordinary.



48. Worst was Barclay James Harvest somewhere in London......we had front row seats (all very civilized) and I fell asleep.



49. Woody Allen once said "Life's a bitch and then you die." Very wise man, Woody Allen. But overrated.



50. All in all, despite its ups and downs, I've had a good life so far. And it's still good and getting better. Happy days.


                                                 *                   *                      *


So there you go.  Post Number One.  I hope you enjoyed it, but if you didn't.....well, that's fine.  I'll try again another day.

Until then, take care and stay happy.