Gulf News - Part 2: Taxis, toilets and other stuff

Catching a cab is straightforward enough here – at least from the hotel.  A colleague (Indian inevitably, since going on for 60% of the company is from there nowadays) picked me up this morning to take me to the bank.  It’s about a 20 minute ride, and I have absolutely no clue where in the city it is in relation to either the airport or hotel.  Anyway, we walked outside the front door of the hotel, stood there in 40-odd degrees of sunshine for a couple of minutes and a cab pulled in off the street.  Heigh-ho and away we go – didn’t even have to wave or yell or whistle.  All very civilized I’m sure.

The cab, too, was very civilized and, dare I say it, high tech – at least in comparison with London or Warsaw vehicles.   OK, it was only a bog standard high-end Nissan sedan, but it was very comfortable, and the excellent air-conditioning was an absolute Godsend as well as no doubt standard issue here.  The taxi driver was wearing a very smart uniform, and on the dashboard was mounted an iPad-sized screen that as well as displaying the guy’s picture and identification information doubled for a kind of sat-nav cum fare meter (with attached printer of course).  Essex mini-cab it certainly wasn’t.

Mind you, getting back to the hotel was a different matter altogether.   I was advised that getting a cab in the street was a bit risky (some of them apparently aren’t in the best nick and have drivers who are perhaps not up to scratch) and told to call the hotel to ask them to send one.  So I did that – wrong number: it seems there are 2 Meridien hotels here….mine and the Royal Meridien.  Having sorted that out, my hotel said it would be easier to send a limo not a cab, cost AED50 – not bad really, for a chauffeur driven Caddy so I went along with it.  A ten minute wait.  After 20 I called again…..the geezer had got lost somewhere. Terrific.  So instead of an easy 15 minute ride it took me just over an hour.

Memo to self: sort that out before tomorrow morning…..

*          *          *

I know it takes all sorts, as they say – but why on earth do Muslim countries operate on a different working week to the rest of the world?  Waking up at 7 this morning to go to work on a Sunday is just not right, sorry.  Sundays are for sleeping as late as possible, then having a hearty breakfast, playing with the kids, maybe going for a walk or a bike ride in the forest, before a barbecue dinner.  Maybe even going to Mass. Right now, I can’t get my head around this at all…….

Good job I’m only here a month!

*          *          *

Interesting toilet facilities at the bank. 

Each cubicle, as well as the usual bowl, cistern and bog roll, has a little hose pipe coming out of the wall.  It’s a kind of primitive bidet to wash your arse with, but how you’re supposed to do that without flooding the floor and, worse, soaking your grounded trousers and bill grundy’s is a complete mystery to me.  I went into trap 1 on my floor, and it awash with water – wellies would have been better footwear.  Trust me, it’s difficult sitting on the can with your cacks down and your trousers rolled up to keep them dry.

Thank God there’s a normal; john at the hotel.

*         *          *

It always seems to be the same when you go to a new site.  No matter how much notice you’ve been given, and remember the client will have had the same amount of prior warning, the working environment is never ready for you.  Desk and chair?  Well, usually that can be taken care of.   Access to the client environment?   No chance.  E-mail and internet?   Don’t make me laugh!

In theory, setting my laptop to “Detect Settings Automatically” should mean I can come in, plug in the cable (or sometimes pick up the wifi network) and connect…..at least to mail and internet browser.  I will of course still need to wait for access to test environments and so forth, but that’s normal – might have to sign confidentiality agreements and things before that is granted.

Today has been typical.  No internet or e-mail.  No system access (not even close).  Both the bank’s and our project managers not on site.  No desk or chair (I was placed in the project manager’s office for the morning, then moved down after lunch to take over the desk of a guy who is shipping back to Chennai this evening.  The rest of our team is ensconced in a small conference room sharing a single desk not much bigger than a standard issue IKEA coffee table.

And we have to work like this.

A wasted day.