A word from Our Sponsors

Corporate entertainment......now there is a growth industry for you. 

When I first went into the banking/broking business it didn't really exist.  The odd event would draw support, usually local, from a generous company - my first employer, a blue-blood stockbroker if ever there was one, used to sponsor a beer tent at Tunbridge Wells cricket week (Kent vs Sussex and Surrey).  But it was solely for partners to entertain customers, and ordinary staff never got a look in.  Over the last 30 years though, since probably the early 80s, the Big Bang that opened the once clositered City to all comers (principally hot shot Yanks, Japs and Germans) has ushered in a hugely lucrative business of finding and selling corporate sponsorship.

It happens at every level.  Some years ago, I used to coach an under 15s football team, and I managed to tap a mate of mine (who had his own business) for the cost of a complete team strip for a squad of 16 plus "Manager's Coats" for me and my mate who helped with the boys.  We didn't win many matches that year, but we looked the dogs.  Two years later, still wearing the kit, the lads won their first championship.....but by then I'd been forced to pack up the coaching and the sponsor's business had been discontinued.

Higher up the ladder, pretty much every football or rugby stadium, or cricket ground....any sporting venue in fact that charges admission...has its corporate facilities.  It may be just a simple beer tent a la Grieveson Grant, or it may be very plush private boxes, complete with big screen TVs to watch the match on if you don't fancy getting cold and wet, and as much free food and booze as you can neck in a couple of hours.

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I've been on a few corporate jollies over the years, and invariably had a great time.

The first, when I was working for a very aggressive American investment bank - they were swallowed up during the last financial crisis - was to Wembley for the second American Bowl exhibition match, as a guest of Barclays.  I was doing a little bit of forex trading, and Barclays Cable Desk invited me, probably on the basis that working for a Yank bank I must like American football.  In fact I knew bugger all about it, but my boss was happy to let me go...."provided you can get them to shave their rates, they're crap".    Yeah, right....there's me, basically a back office guy who does about a dozen spot cable trades a week to cover balances (at that time we didn't have a forex desk in London) expected to sit in a box at Wembley and berate a bunch of highly profitable traders for ripping us off (they weren't) and demand a better spread.  Anyway, I went to Wembley and had a great time.  The box was on the half way line, the food and drink was great, the conversation rarely strayed on to business matters, and a guy there who was a grid-iron fanatic explained the action to me.  It was the San Francisco 49ers against the Washington Redskins, I remember, a pre-season exhibition match, so the top players didn't take part.   The biggest applause of the night was for the legendary 49ers quarterback Joe Montana, when he strolled out in jeans and t-shirt for a pitch side interview.  I can't remember the score, but the Redskins won from an overtime field goal from 40 yards.  Oh, and the half time entertainment featured a guy called the Balloon Man, who basically inflated a huge 6foot balloon then proceeded to attempt to climb inside.  It burst, he was knocked out cold and stretchered off by the St Johns Ambulance to a standing ovation.  And I never mentioned rates at all.....told my boss they were thinking about it.  He seemed happy enough.

Next up, a couple of years (and one job change) later was cricket.  Not the biggest games - no Test match or one dayer - but entertaining nevertheless.  Middlesex vs Surrey at Lords, guest of a software house whose system we used for derivatives business (not my business area, but the Derivatives Back Office manager couldn't make it).  Box hosted by the great (and very old) Denis Compton.  A good days cricket, highlight of which was a wonderful double century by Middlesex batsman Mark Ramprakash, who the previous day had been dropped for the following week's Test match against (I think) Australia.  Great response I thought.   I actually got into big trouble over that one, because the guy whose place I had taken neglected to tell our manager, and I got an almighty bollocking and verbal warning for "gross professional misconduct".  I was not a happy chappy.  The following summer I got another cricket match - and my manager approved it (different bloke, the old fart I had upset had been moved sideways), so off I went to the Oval for a B&H Cup match between Surrey and Holland.  Surrey won, and I can't remember another thing about it.  I must have been pissed.

Then, two months later, came the highlight, courtesy of Citibank: a day driving at Silverstone.  That was a cracker.  There were about thirty of us there, I think, and we met in the British Racing Drivers Club in the middle of the circuit, where we were fed bacon rolls and divided into teams, each named for one of the F1 teams and led by a professional racing driver.  I was in Jordan and my driver was Barbara Armstrong, at that time a leading rally cross driver.  We were given a set of black Silverstone racing overalls that I kept and used for decorating at home for the next 5 years.  Over the day, we had go-kart racing, single-seat Formula Fords on a reduced central track, a skid pan lesson in a heavily doctored Peugeot 405 saloon, some stunt driving in a Caterham 7 sports car (God, I'd love one of those!) and several laps of the full Grand Prix circuit in race tuned Peugeot 305 hatchbacks.  It was a fantastic day, it improved my driving skills (though my wife doesn't believe that at all) and I'd love to do it again sometime - but probably never will.

The following year (and one more job change later) I had my last jolly.  Again it was paid for by a software supplier, this time one who was touting for my business (I was responsible for choosing a system for the new company I was then working for) and was to a marquee at the Royal Artillery Sports Ground in the City of London  (off Moorgate) to watch the England - Argentina World Cup quarter final 1998.  I wish it had been a happier occasion.  The food and drink and, particlualrly, the atmosphere there was excellent, but the result.....oh, dear.  Any football fan will remember it.  18 year old Michael Owen (two months older than my son) scored one of the best World Cup goals ever, then David Beckham got sent off for an inocuous but stupid kick on Diego Simeone (for which he was pilloried throughout the next season) and we ended up losing on penalties.  Terrible.....  At the end of the game the place was like a morgue, where 90 minutes before we had sung and shouted ourselves hoarse for Owen's goal, and we all just drunk up, and walked silently to the nearest Tube station to go home. The following day, an American guy I worked with pissed me off big time with the following comment when calling a potential customer:

"My name is Shearer, S-H-E-A-R-E-R....like the footballer.  Good job it's not Becken-ham...heh-heh-heh".  And they wonder why British football fans just don't take them seriously......

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I do wonder, though, how companies quantify their spend on corporate entertainment.

In the cases mentioned above, there was no real issue.  The two cricket matches were cheap, and the companies already had our business secured, so it was an easy thanks guys for them.  Similarly with the American Bowl game: Barclays had our business already, and were making enough of a spread on the few trades we did to justify the again minimal spend.  Silverstone?  More expensive, I'm sure, probably a couple of thousand......but we subsequently signed up to their services (securing which was the whole point of the invitation) and I'm sure they covered it many times over in fees during the first six months.  They didn't need to do it anyway, we'd already decided to go their way, but I didn't tell them that for a week after the event.

But my kids football team?  How did my mate justify dipping his hand in his pocket for maybe a grand to spend on that....and did he really reap any benefit from it?  My guess is he offset the cost against that years' tax bill and covered it that way, because I can't imagine any business came his way as a result.

And again how do companies decide what is a good investment and what isn't?  I'm sure companies who spend millions sponsoring major football teams like Arsenal, or Real Madrid, or Man Utd do benefit from the increased publicity (as those clubs are on TV pretty much every week, so the sponsor's name is on TV every week, often in close up).  But the club I support are sponsored by Eurostar, not for a vast amount admittedly (as they're in the fifth tier of the national game) but do Eurostar really sell many more tickets as a result of their name being seen on the front of a football shirt by maybe 800 people a week?  Where is their return on investment?

Speaking of which, my company used to sponsor the Sauber F1 team.  I don't know how much for, but our name was prominent on the front wing of a car participating in a sport that has a truly global interest and is on TV world-wide throughout the season.  As a tech company sponsoring a participant in probably the most highly technical sport in the world, it was a good match - as our marketting guys never stopped telling us.  Then a few years ago we dropped Sauber and instead started sponsoring......a Swiss solo sailor who competes in transatlantic and round the world yacht races (that he never seems to finish).  We've basically paid for two new boats now, in return for which the sail is in our corporate colour scheme and bears our company name.  But how many people watch these races as compared to F1?  What is our ROI for this deal?

Makes no sense to me, I'm afraid!