Browsing the Browsers - A layman's view

Everyone who uses a device - whether it be a desktop or a laptop, a mobile phone or a tablet - to get at the internet uses a browser.  Forget about a standalone word processing program, or a spreadsheet tool or presentation software for productivity. Never mind separate files to download and store all your pictures and music and documents (of whatever shape or form) that you can happily use without going onto the internet.  Nowadays, all of it and much more besides, is handled by any web browser, both to create (I’m typing this on such a tool) and store or publish (as I will soon, hence your being able to read it). Cloud technology, it’s called, because all the data is held on a server - more correctly, hundreds of the things - in a location totally unknown to the user.  Along with crypto currencies and blockchain, it’s the Next Big Thing in the IT industry and has been growing quickly over the last few years now. But that’s all subject matter to write about another day.

This is not news, of course.  Even the least tech savvy user knows that, and I consider myself in this number.  I know how to use all this stuff, and set things up to my liking, but how it all works is frankly beyond me.  I don’t need to know any of it. My mind doesn’t work that way. Even the most simple and basic programming is out of my reach, despite spending nearly 20 years working for a leading banking software company where my job was to help banks, who had invested perhaps a couple of million bucks buying our system, to understand how to set it up and make it work.  But if any programming was needed all I could do was write down what was needed and how it was supposed to work and what it should look like then hand it over to some proper techies to write the code.  

Browsers, in my early experience, were simply tools to get onto the internet to read the day’s news (thus saving the cost of a newspaper which was often difficult to obtain in English in my usual work locations across the Middle East, Eastern Europe etc), check facts and information that I might need for work, and check flight information before travel.  In those days, round about the turn of the Millennium, your choices were very limited indeed. The choice was basically the browser that came with your ubiquitous Microsoft Windows package (that most people used) or for the more adventurous the one offered by Apple and that locked you firmly into their universe with no easy way out if you didn’t like something.  A disclaimer here: I have never in my life used an Apple computer, laptop or tablet. I had a second generation iPhone for a few years and liked it very much, but never used it for the internet - I used my Windows laptop (work supplied) for that. Eventually I dumped Apple and since then have used Android devices (a Sony Xperia and latterly a succession of Samsung Galaxy’s) but still use their built-in browsers relatively lightly.

When I left the software company and set up my own consultancy six years ago, I had to invest in my own laptop (a Lenovo W530 that I’m still using, perfectly happily) and that prompted me to have a look at what alternative browsers were out there.  So what follows is a summary, in no particular order, of the ones I’ve tried and used, some for extended periods, and some very lightly. I’ll describe the things I like about them, things that were less favourable, and the odd problem. And this is done on the basis of a purely basic user, someone who doesn’t want to do anything complex, simply surf and store or play stuff.

First up - the daddy of them all, Microsoft’s Internet Explorer (IE).  When I first started using PCs and laptops (rather than mainframe computers) IE was the absolute standard and probably every user in the world (apart from the super-cool Apple fanboys) was locked into it.  I used probably three or four iterations as they were introduced and my firm updated the laptop operating systems through to Windows 7 Professional. They were all much of a muchness, and did what it said on the box - namely providing a reliable gateway to the World Wide Web.  The page load could be a bit slow, especially where I had two or three tabs open, but that may have been more down to memory issues with the various hardware I was using, or slow connection speeds through sometimes poor routers in office, airport lounge or home that found handling content heavy web pages just hard work.   There were, presumably, improvements with each browser release, but I was never really aware of them, and for what I wanted to do it was perfectly adequate.

IE was replaced in the Windows 10 release, which came in with Microsoft’s all singing and all dancing Edge browser.  So when I upgraded from 7 to 10 (the free upgrade that Microsoft offered to launch both the operating system and Edge) I got it, with IE still available as an alternative.  I moved over to Edge as I was able to move across all my Favourite sites and passwords and so on very easily. From memory new versions of IE, as they came in, didn’t need this so it came as news to me that you could automatically transfer it all without having to copy them over manually.  I’ve always found Edge to be very good - it’s clean to look at it, easy to use and has some nice functions allowing you to save articles in a file to read later, annotate and share items and so on that I have never found a need to use. Adding Favourites lists to categorise your frequent sites is again simple and efficient.  The main issue I’ve had (and continue to have) is the adverts that are always there, flashing away constantly on every page you go to, and automatically opening while I’m trying to read the football report or something, forcing me to scroll back up or down to get back to where I was. Ad Blocking tools, whether the browser’s own or third party software, never seem to work properly and I can never completely get rid of them.  It’s an irritant rather than a major problem, and you get used to it eventually (or at least I did).  

But for some reason I’ve never really understood, Edge has never really taken off and I’ve read more critical articles about it than ones praising it.  It always seems to lag close to or at the bottom of any Best Browser list in the tech magazines and surveys (usually in a race with IE for the wooden spoon).  Maybe people just don’t like Microsoft products any more. For me, however, Edge is a perfectly good browser, and I keep my one up-to-date as and when I add or change a Favourite or password.  Is it the best out there? Probably not, but it’s still perfectly adequate for the average non-technical user like me. Maybe when it’s rebuilt from the ground up and based on Google’s Chromium operating system (as many other browsers are) it will improve and feature many more knobs and whistles that today’s users seem to want and pick up market share.  It’s due in I think early 2020, so we’ll soon see.

Recently I tried Opera.  I had read about it some time ago, but it didn’t seem to offer much that other browsers don’t, but I stumbled across a Best of… survey last week that gave it a much higher rating, and amongst the new functionality baked in the latest release is its own VPN.   Now given that most people, including me, are a lot more security conscious, after the way personal data was harvested and used to influence the 2016 EU Referendum in Britain and the US Presidential Election in the same year, anything that makes it harder to be tracked and harvested seems worthwhile, so I gave it a go.  

It’s a nice enough browser, and offered a lot of customisation possibilities - a couple of nice looking Pink Floyd skins were offered for instance.  It also had a side-bar to the left that held various icons (for instance the Settings shortcut) to different functions, including short cuts to both WhatsApp and Messenger.  Since they are both part of FACEBOOK (what is the point of this re-branding, Zuck?) these days, I can’t really see the need for both, either on a computer or a mobile device - I’d be very surprised if both were in existence this time next year.  There were so many set up options it took a while to get the thing how I wanted, what with importing Favourites, choosing backgrounds and so on, but it was ok. I used WhatsApp quite happily, and the multiple tab searching and normal stuff worked just fine.  

But that VPN wasn’t what I had expected - for a start, it drastically slowed down page load times, much more than I had expected.  It was also not possible to set a server location - for instance Asia, Europe etc - for the VPN to use, and most of the time it seemed to me to be automatically selecting a server somewhere in Russia (given the propensity for cookie acceptance requests to be in Cyrillic script even if the site was a UK retailer).  Now since Russia and China are proven to be highly sophisticated fake news exponents (the troll farms Russia used in their 2016 influencing campaigns seem to be very effective) it seemed to me that a VPN that apparently favoured Russia is not one I wanted to use - and apologies if that remark insults anyone. I uninstalled Opera after less than two days.  It’s not for me.

In terms of complex set up, it reminded me very much of Mozilla’s Firefox, the go-to browser if you don’t want to be locked into the Microsoft, Google or Apple ecosystems and value privacy and flexibility.  I’ve tried it a few times over the years, and found it decent. The set up offers incredible flexibility using a whole catalogue of add-ons to do different things, including a huge range of skins, a variety of ad-blockers, and tool-kits to manipulate searches and other functions.  I’ve loaded it, set it up and used it for a while and been happy enough - it no doubt looks good and has fast page loads, and you can use many tabs simultaneously with no appreciable drag. But sometimes for reasons I can’t figure out at all, it all seems to get a bit confused and you get passwords lost or overwritten.  I’ve scrapped a couple of iterations and gone elsewhere, and each time, when I’ve decided to give it another go, when I’ve re-installed, it’s picked up the last lot of settings and automatically applied them, password errors and all. But it only adds another 30 minutes or so updating those and you’re good to go - at least until the next time. 

I did that earlier this year, and worked with it happily enough as my default, with Edge as the alternative.  But this week I found that, for some reason, the browser’s Sync functionality had stopped and I tried to kick it off through the Settings menu.  It sent a message with an activation code to my e-mail address - but I found I had defined that incorrectly in my Firefox account set up so the mail was not reaching me.  I tried to correct it, but the directions given merely took me into a loop that resulted in the mails being sent to the bad address again. I sent a mail to the Help team, and got a standard mail back telling me what options I could try (basically what I had already done).  So it’s stuck. I can use it, but with Sync not working I’m probably not getting the regular updates and any password changes will equally be lost.  

So I’ve now gone back to everyone’s favourite, the world’s Most Popular Browser, Google Chrome.  I’ve used it on and off for years, and I can quite understand why that is the case.  It’s quick and clean, like Opera, like Firefox and everything else, with loads of extensions and customisation options.  It’s fast and secure, and once you’ve set it up initially, after an Uninstall it restores everything when you re-load (as I’ve done two or three times).  It comes with all the Google tools and services as standard, and since I have a couple of gmail accounts, and my photos and music library are in the related apps it has everything I need.  Talking of my Google Photos and Music, I have the content also saved in competing Microsoft services that came with Windows 10 and I can say with absolutely no doubt that Google’s are so much better.  I understand the data concerns, but it seems to me that after many years of use, before those concerns were recognised by anybody, there is not much about me that Google - and for that matter Facebook or Amazon or whoever - don’t already know, and even less that I can do about it.  So there is no point worrying about it, in my view.

The only problem I’ve come across is that if you have a lot of tabs open, there can be a performance lag.  At one point I had Chrome set up to launch with about 6 tabs defined, all bar one of which had passwords to apply.  The system did it all flawlessly if a little slowly (but still much much quicker than launching and signing in each one manually).  Thereafter leaving them all open and signed in all the time made the working day a lot easier, but I found that there was sometimes an appreciable lag opening a document, or a mail, or another tab - the browser configured in that way was clearly resource heavy.  I haven’t done that this time, and it seems appreciably quicker.

So there you go.  This is not a comprehensive review because there are browsers, some new and some older, that I just haven’t tried and don’t really see a need to do so in my retirement.  It’s also not including in CPU use statistics or technical information because the average Joe Public user (like me) isn’t really interested in all that stuff - it’s for geeks.  This post is simply not aimed at techies (who no doubt have all that information and much else in any case).   

I expect I’ll continue using Chrome, with Edge as my fallback, for the foreseeable future.  I still have Firefox installed and may need to dip into it now and again - and at some point I’ll probably do an Uninstall on it. .  

I’d be interested to see what you think - are you a Chrome man or a dyed-in-the-wool Firefox advocate?  Was my Opera experience unique? Why is Edge still so unpopular and will it ever improve its fortunes? Are there any Apple users who can tell me why it remains so popular?

Comment is free - I’d love to hear from you in the space provided.

Today's News: Wonky Weather and Political Crises

I have to say the weather has been unseasonably warm the last few days here.  Temperatures in Poland aren't usually in the mid teens, with sunshine and blue skies, at this time in November.  The lovely red sunsets and golden sunrises streaming through my apartment windows are more what you expect in May or September.  There has been a fairly gusty wind the last 2 days which have kept the temperature down a bit, but it's still been excellent walking and biking weather.  Of course, I've taken advantage of it with a 16km bike ride on Saturday, a similar distance hike through Kabaty Forest to Piaseczno and the surrounding area on Sunday, and a 25km bike ride out to Wilanów via Kabaty yesterday (you can look at where they are on Google Maps - suffice to say they are suburbs at the southern extremities on the city).  All very pleasant, and helping the dodgy hips no end.

But it hasn't always been like this.  I can remember back in I think 2004 coming back from a late holiday (this was before marriage and a family) in Egypt and landing from 30C heat in Hurghada, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, at the end of October, to find Warsaw shivering in -5C temperatures and snow.  Going further back, my first winter here (2000-1) there was a heavy snowfall at the end of October that dumped well over a metre of snow on the city that lasted right through to the following April.  A steady easterly kept temperatures to minus double figures for most of that time (there is little to stop such winds this side of the Urals).  I had to buy a new wardrobe as my rainy day English winter clothes were hopelessly inadequate.  The following winter was little better.

Since then, the temperatures have moderated and bitter cold weather like that is much less common.  As indeed are the long hot summers that I enjoyed in my first few years here.  They are much more British now - that is to say, with more rain than previously - but still overall better and longer.  I'm happy with that.

Global warning?  Climate change?  Probably, especially when you take into account the extreme weather events that are clearly more frequent and more severe across the entire continent (including the British Isles).  There is certainly general agreement among climate scientists (and yes, I accept there remain dissenting voices - though increasingly muted) that we are in a developing climate crisis, with the latest prognosis being that in about 11 years it will all be irreversible.  God only knows what kind of a world my kids and grandkids will live in after that - I intend to stick around to see at least some of it. 


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The political landscape is also undergoing a major shift, and there is as much turmoil and uncertainty there as in the climate crisis.  And just as many arguments about a cause and uncertain effect.

A few years ago, when the odious Donald Trump swept into the White House on a wave of personal abuse, mass voter appeal (that I still cannot understand) and it seems like the assistance - whether financial or otherwise - from the equally grim ex-KGB officer Putin, many judges thought this was the start of a tide of populism that was set to sweep away the old political establishment.   Within months a similar populist movement (short on facts but long on rhetoric) persuaded the British people to vote in favour of leaving the EU causing fractures in society that are if anything more deep seated and unsolvable now than at the time of Referendum.  Elsewhere, there were genuine fears that in Italy, France, the Netherlands and Germany forthcoming elections would result in populist governments that would by definition threaten the existence of the EU itself.

The fears were largely unfounded. The "populist revolution" did not take root and apart from in Italy the Establishment (for want of a better term) retained power, even if with in most cases diluted majorities.  The exception was in Italy, where a populist government was elected but didn't last long: after it fell mid term, new elections went back to something like normality (whatever that is: elections seem to be second only to football as a national sport there), though the populist parties still retain a big say in the country's affairs.

The EU itself has appointed a new Commission team that has, after this year's elections to the EU Parliament, a clear mandate for change, and it will be interesting to see what will come about over the next few years.  There is a recognition, in my view, that the Union needs to change and move away from a fully integrated Federal Europe to a more workable group of member states who work closely together whilst retaining their sovereignty.  Which is precisely what that idiot Cameron wanted from his last EU Summit as British Prime Minister - but when he didn't get everything he demanded (which was never likely to happen anyway), instead of negotiating his toys were thrown out of the pram, the Referendum called, and the country damaged for a generation.  It's a huge regret to me that instead of being in a position to influence, perhaps lead, this evolution of the EU we are instead walking away from it, amid a constitutional crisis of our own making, and facing up to a diminished future.

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Amid this uncertainty, the election season is open in both Britain and the USA.  Next year was always going to be an election year across the pond, and it's in full swing already.  Trump, as expected, is demanding a second term (God help us all!) and has already begun tramping round the country addressing "his people" in mass rallies similar to those he held during his first election campaign.  The ingredients are the same: railing against The Establishment (which he pledged last time to clean up - "Drain The Swamp!" but has failed to do so - not that his supporters seem to have noticed), personally abusing his potential Democrat challengers, and bigging up his own achievements that in many cases are clearly illusory or exaggerated.  And despite being under the threat if impeachment, for a long list of un-Presidential behaviour culminating in an attempt to coerce the Ukrainian government to "dig the dirt" on Democrat former Vice President and potential challenger Joe Biden and his son to use to his (Trump's) personal gain, the crowds are lapping it up.

The Democrats remain in an apparent disarray.  At last count, they had 18 candidates hoping to get the nomination, with a couple more expected to throw their hats in shortly.  Despite the fact that most of them continue to perform poorly on the stump, and hence have not a chance of getting nominated (let alone elected) none of them are prepared to walk away.  Worse, there seem to be no stand out candidates - leading at the moment are Bernie Sanders, aged 78 and recovering from a heart attack (failed last time) and Joe Biden, aged 76 and clearly slowing up (also failed last term).  Both fell to Hillary Clinton (aged 72) who lost to Trump last time out and is (possibly) going to have another go.  With Trump himself aged 73, suggestions that politics is a young man's game are clearly wide of the mark, at least in the States.

Meanwhile in Britain, the Tory government has called another election, the second since the 2016 Referendum (overriding again the Fixed Term Parliament Act introduced to much fanfare by Cameron in the process) because they have been incapable of delivering Brexit.  This is probably because, having won the argument, no-one actually had a clue what "Brexit" really means.   Months of tedious negotiation and political argument under Theresa May produced a deal with the EU that was not accepted by Parliament - which is riven with as much division as the country as a whole - despite three votes (and three record defeats).  She duly stepped down and was replaced the Brexiteer's cheerleader-in-chief and Daily Telegraph columnist, lately masquerading as Foreign Secretary (before being sacked for incompetence) Boris Johnson.  He promptly lost his first half a dozen votes in the Commons, kicked out 21 of his own MPs who voted against him, thus losing his slim majority, but managed to agree another deal.  A-ha!  No - this one was offered by the EU nearly two years ago, but refused by May at which time Johnson (then still heading the Foreign Office) said "No British Prime Minister could ever sign off on this".  What changed in the meantime?  Nothing, except the man is desperate to take us out - never mind what's Best for Britain, it's what's Best for Boris.

That deal too was rejected, at which point Johnson demanded an election as the only way of breaking a deadlocked parliament.  After a bit of umm-ing and ah-ing, the Opposition accepted - so here we are, preparing to vote on 5 December.  I will miss out this time - the Electoral Commission, in its infinite wisdom, has refused to grant me a postal vote because I have "not been on the Electoral Roll" for 15 years.  The postal vote I was given a mere three years ago is not counted (or was granted in error, no-one seems to know), even though on both applications I confirmed leaving the UK in 2008 (I make that only 11 years now....).  And that idiot Farage and his mate Boris have the cheek to go on about "failing to deliver Brexit (being) a betrayal of democracy!".

I hope they are well and truly spanked at the Ballot box.  Who will win?  I have no idea, and expect another hung Parliament, but who will be the major party tasked with forming a government, and who will hold the balance of power within it, is anyone's guess.   Clearly, we have a broken political system and some form of electoral reform and proportional representation must come.

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Meanwhile, in Hong Kong, there is rioting in the streets as people protest the lack of democracy in the territory.  It's been going on for five months now, and shows little sign of being resolved.  If anything, it's getting worse.

Essentially, when Britain caved in to diplomatic pressure (and rising costs) and returned Hong Kong to China when its 99 year lease (leasing a country?!?!) ended in 1997, the basis of the agreement was that while Hong Kong would be absorbed into greater China it would retain its own government and political system.  The mantra has since then been "One Country, Two political systems".  Given the squabbles that have been rumbling on over Taiwan and its relationship with China since pretty much the end of World War II (when the state declared its independence from mainland China), the hope that China would accept Hong Kong's status seems remarkably optimistic.

The problem has been that although Hong Kong is able to "elect" its government and its Chief Executive, all the nominees are approved by the Chinese government BEFORE an election takes place.  They are really appointees.  Democracy it ain't, election or no election.  The people have by and large accepted this and continued to prosper, but a new generation of young people has decided to push for a true democratic process.  Their demands are simple enough: applicants (to use a probably inaccurate term) should not be Beijing approved appointees, but drawn from the Hong Kong population-at-large.  Any citizen of Hong Kong should be eligible for election.  The election should be free and fair with multiple candidates for each position.  The electorate should be able to make its own decision at the ballot box.  In other words, give us real democracy please (even if all the candidates are still drawn from the Communist Party that continues to run China)

The Chinese government has refused point blank - they see this as a loss of control, and opening the potential for other political parties to participate (and obstruct them) in Hong Kong's affairs: which to be fair would probably happen sooner rather than later.  But that is democracy.

There have been street protests, mainly peaceful initially.  The leaders have been arrested and imprisoned.  This has only exacerbated the dispute and increased the numbers of protesters on the streets, while widening support across (by now) all walks of life and age groups.  The police, instructed by Beijing, have started using greater force to break up the demonstrations - tear gas, rubber bullets and water cannon have become a fact of life.  The protesters respond by throwing bricks and latterly home made petrol bombs and bows and arrows.  There have been casualties on both sides, and also a handful of deaths amongst the protesters.  Despite this, the demonstrations continue without any let up or reduction in support.  And it's all happening, every day now (it was at the outset only on weekends) on a tv screen near you - global news networks are covering it extensively.

Neither side is prepared to compromise.  The Chinese have now suggested that the "use of live ammunition" may be required.  The protest leaders have admitted they are frightened but are adamant they will not stop protesting until all their demands have been met.

This will turn into a bloodbath.

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What a world we are living in.

Ex pats? Who cares?

Well, that was interesting. An evening spent in the plush conference room at the British Embassy in Warsaw, where a team led by the Deputy Ambassador and including staff from the Embassy and relevant Polish authorities presented what we ex-pats need to do in the event of a No Deal Brexit.

There were I guess getting on for 100 of us in the audience, and the conversation was at times quite lively. We were a mixed bag too. As well as the professionals working here for both UK and Polish companies, there were a several people, like myself, who for a variety of reasons (and not all of them related to romance) had made their lives and retired in Poland, and Polish people with spouses or partners who were British.

There were many different stories, but the overwhelming take away was the sense of confusion and frustration we all shared. No-one I spoke to thought that Brexit was a good idea – reading between the lines (and judging by some instances of rolled eyes and forced smiles) I got the impression that the Deputy Ambassador himself was not in favour: “We are simply here to execute our Government’s instructions” was his best soundbite, in answer to someone about what the “benefits of Brexit actually are” (the question was not answered).

Most people were aggrieved at being disenfranchised for the Referendum in 2016, because they had been in Poland for more than 7 years, and were less than happy about the lack of information and support they had been given at the time. I told them that I had been given a postal vote after contacting my old constituency in England, despite having been in Poland myself for (at that time) 15 years and urged them to do the same now, so that at least our feelings could be expressed at the ballot box in the next General Election or People’s Vote on any Brexit deal (whichever comes first). It may be, of course, that my postal vote had been awarded as a result of a clerical error – and equally other people being excluded could have been clerical errors. There seems to be a distinct lack of clarity around this point – as with many things Brexit.

Other stories were interesting. A lady was representing her mother, 99 years old and too frail to travel, who had been living in Poland for more than 50 years and granted permanent residency more than 45 years ago. She had received a letter from the NHS in England advising her that in the event of No Deal, her health care, both in England and reciprocally in Poland, was no longer valid, and that she needed to purchase expensive private health care. The lady was seeking confirmation that was indeed the true and what her mother should do. No-one was able to give her a definitive answer.

A young Polish lady was there on behalf of herself and her English partner, who had been for work purposes relocated to Jersey. The couple wanted to split their time between homes in both countries, but her partner had been told that with a No Deal he would only be able to spend 30 days a year in Poland and the lady only allowed the same amount of time in Britain. Again, no-one was able to confirm the truth or otherwise in this, as “details are still being worked out”.

There was also a young British lady, accompanied by her daughter (no more than 4 years old I would guess) who lived and worked permanently in Poland. The child’s father was for personal reasons still in the UK. This meant he was not able to spend as much time with his daughter as either party wanted (largely on understandable cost grounds) and this would now become even worse because of these possible time limits. Again, there was no solution offered.

Finally, a guy about my age was asking practical questions about which line he should join when arriving at Heathrow, returning to Warsaw or visiting another EU country. No-one was sure, but the general impression was that arrival at Heathrow on a UK passport would mean the UK line, arrival at Warsaw would be the Third Country line, but elsewhere in Europe (specifically a non-Schengen EU member state) no-one was completely sure but assumed the Third Country line.

The takeway: despite over 3 ½ years working on this, Britain still has many decisions to make. And there is not much more than a week to do so and notify the world.

By contrast, Poland is well prepared. A new Law has been introduced that enshrines the rights and requirements for British people living in Poland in both a Deal and No Deal scenario. Essentially, the Law defines what documents are needed in both cases, and the application forms are ready for use, and decisions taken as to the supporting documents required. Applications can also be fast tracked. In cases where somebody has an existing residency permit, paper based, this can be exchanged for a credit-card type permit containing biometric data that can be used as a travel document (within Schengen) at no cost. Contrast this with the scheme Britain has introduced for resident EU citizens that is being slated as too complex and too costly and has already given rise to many complaints from people who, despite living in Britain for many years already, have been refused a new permit, apparently arbitrarily.

Few people in the room expressed much confidence in the present Johnson Government to deliver a deal without an extension beyond the end of the month, despite all the bluster coming from people like the Prime Minister and his closest ministers like Raab, Gove, Javid and Rees-Mogg. Even fewer people had a good word to say about the British Government.

I assume similar evenings are being held across the EU, and I would be very surprised if they were any different in tone – and I suspect the Government is well aware of this and doing everything it can to hold ex-pats at arms length and disenfranchise them to ensure that their objections and concerns do not influence any subsequent votes. I have said all along that the majority of ex-pats are against Brexit and had we been able to vote in 2016, the result would have been very different. Nothing I saw and heard last night has changed that opinion. Simply put, the Government, despite all its statements to the contrary, really does not care a jot about the ex-pat community.

Movin' Out?

I'm a country boy.  Born in what was then a small village on the border between Kent and Sussex but is now a sizeable town.  Lived there for the first 25 years of my life before, on marrying, moving to a somewhat bigger border town 20 odd miles away, where I stayed for maybe four years.  Then back to another north Kentish village, about the same size as my home town (and it hasn't grown much since).  So green fields, narrow roads and woodland have always been if not within sight at least within a short walk or, at worst, drive away.  Likewise the smells of horseshit and crop spray and newly mown hay are as well known to me as roast beef and Yorkshire pud or a decent curry.

So living, as I have done for close to 20 years now, in one of Europe's more polluted cities, is not really "me".  Don't get me wrong: I love the place, despite the maniac drivers on the over-crowded city roads, or the frequent blues-and-twos waking me up at six most mornings (I'm sure it's some numpty copper having fun driving around the neighbourhood waking everyone up for a laugh) or the jet noise from nearby Warsaw airport (thankfully we're not directly under the flight path but we can hear the traffic when the wind is in the right direction).  Warsaw has everything I need to be happy - first and foremost my wife and kids and a comfortable home; then decent shopping within walking distance; close to entertainment (a cinema complex half a kilometre away, and two more in malls within ten minutes' drive, plus a massive network of cycle and footpaths and parkland for exercise); and within a 15 minute Metro ride - free on my OAP pass - of the city centre for more shops, museums and art galleries than you can shake a stick at.  Plus I have my books and my music and good friends around.  It's all good.

But it simply isn't the countryside.  I need to do something about that.



Moving out is the only way I can get back to what I'm used to (for despite my extended Warsaw residence it still doesn't feel completely right).  And of course this presents problems to be solved.  Two in particular - my kids and money.

My kids are still well in school age - my son is 13 going on 14 (and teenage angst is setting in) and my daughter 11 going on 21.  I love 'em deeply, and they are my Number One concern.  Because of their age, they are well settled into education and have networks of close friends, built up in the local (very good) middle school a kilometre up the road.  The lad has also just moved up to senior school and started on his equivalent to English GCSE studies with college or university on the horizon.  Milady has a couple of years to go before she follows him......and the time is passing way too quickly. The last thing we can do is disrupt their education.

So the alternative to leaving Warsaw completely is to buy a smaller place out of town where we can weekend or holiday - and that of course leads us into the second issue - dosh (or the comparative lack of the stuff).   Retirement and Brexit between them have, naturally enough, blown a sizeable hole in the Good Ship Spending Power.  Like most blokes, I suppose, growing old(er) was never on my radar, and the needs of my first family (all grown men thankfully, and doing well in life with their own family responsibilities), to mention nothing of Doing the Decent Thing when I divorced some years ago mean that I have a quite small savings pot.  Then of course a devaluing pound has reduced the value of what pension income I have, since I'm paid in sterling and have to convert to Polish zloty.  At Referendum time I could buy over 5 to the pound, now it's closer to 4.5 and sliding.  Thank you, Parliament!

There's not much I can do about either.  I can't slow down time so that my kids grow older more slowly, nor can I turn back the clock to before they started school, when leaving Warsaw would have been no upheaval for them.   I can do nothing either about the folly of the Brexit decision that has affected the currency markets and economies of both Britain and Europe, Poland's included, and will continue to do so for many years.  My pensions are fixed for the duration (State excluded - you never know, a future Government of some kind may see their way to being more generous, but I'm not holding my breath) and the chances of winning the Euromillions lottery are not worth thinking about so I don't bother playing it.  So all I can do is  manage the best I can, and that will be the story of my life, I think.

But looking on the bright side, I'm still healthy so I can at least enjoy my kids and bike rides and hiking for many years to come.  And there is actually one possibility that could help me realise my move out.



When I claimed my pensions I had a couple of lump sum payments (as you do), and even with a sliding exchange rate they come to a reasonable sum.  I'm not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but there's enough there to give me some options.  I also have a savings policy maturing this time next year that will swell the coffers a bit as well.  In theory at least, I could invest in a small out of town place now.  This would complicate things a little because it would probably mean my splitting my time between Warsaw and wherever, at least until the kids finish school (perhaps 10 years?) enabling my wife and I to relocate properly.  But it's a consideration that we're taking seriously.

A big question is location.  It will be in Poland somewhere I think, if for no other reason than property prices are very cheap here in comparison with other European countries, especially Britain.  That may change, of course.....  So then the choice is where do we go?

We could probably find something a couple of hours or so's drive out of town that would be pretty rural and fit the bill.  A little plot of land with a small cottage on it in a village somewhere is appealing, but I'm not convinced - I don't know the locality well enough.  The price, while reasonable, would be higher due to the proximity to Warsaw, so less value for money - a bit like buying a place in the Home Counties within commuting range of London.  I'm not sure.....

Then there is the south of Poland, beyond the major cities like Krakow and Wroclaw and Katowice.  Here you are coming into ski country, with the Biesczady and Tatra mountain ranges, offshoots of the Carpathian range, that form Poland's only real natural barrier.  I've been to the Biesczadies several times as we usually take a winter break in a small ski resort called Szczyrk that I've praised on here a couple of times.  It's lovely countryside and I've often thought I'd like to visit in high summer and explore a bit without tramping through a metre of snow wrapped in thermals and gloves.  The cold frankly doesn't agree with me these days, especially with the dodgy hips and knees and increasingly rheumy hands that all ache constantly.  But it is nice there, and is not impossible.

To the north, of course, is the Baltic coast, and this is my favoured destination at the moment.  I've visited several resorts there - I wrote about the pleasures on offer a few weeks ago in a piece called Oh, we do like to be beside the seaside and there are a number of other essays scattered about (check the Archives most years for July or August and you're likely to find something)  - and I can safely say it's my favourite part of the country.  There is no question I would move there tomorrow if someone offered me a place.  A small villa, an apartment somewhere (especially with a sea view) or a place a few kilometres inland - I'd settle for any one of them. And there is still excellent value to be had, and a lot of new developments springing up to offer a wide choice.  Hmmmm.......

The drive to the coast this year took us on a different route since our resort was new to us - well, to me anyway: it was a return to childhood for my beloved.  Two thirds of it followed the familiar and excellent A2 and A1 highways towards Gdansk that we have driven many times, but around the historic battleground of Grudziadz we swung onto the cross country route north westerly through the beautiful Pomeranian countryside, past Chojnice and the coastal resort of Koszalin.  It's a lovely road, winding through rolling, forested hills and small villages with their distinctive Kaszubian wooden cottages that gave way the further west we traveled to the more Germanic buildings representative of the area's Prussian past.  Regularly we would swing around a bend and through the trees see lakes large and small glimmering in the hot summer sunshine.  On our return, reversing the route, we stopped off a couple of hundred metres off the main road along a deserted forest track where there was a small picnic area and rested for an hour.  It was deserted, and despite the hum of traffic from a busy (for the area: a car or truck every four or five minutes) main road, very quiet and peaceful.  We loved it.

A lot of the small lakeside villages had property for sale, and many seemed to be small wooden bungalows set back from the road, often with the lake lapping quietly at the boundaries of the small and neat gardens.  It was idyllic......and immediately gave us another option.  The area is beautiful and quiet, with few large towns and not a shopping mall or McDonald's in sight.  It's probably a couple of hours from the coast and about four to five from Warsaw, and at summer's end the traffic was, as I've suggested above, quite light.  I'm sure it's heavier in the peak period from the end of June to the end of August and I'm sure winters bring difficult conditions (as is common throughout the country) but for all that I think it would be a delightful place to live.  More research is needed, maybe a trip or two more at different times of the year to get a clearer picture, but it's a region I'm now thinking seriously about.



So there we go.  Much as we would like a place in the sun, on some sandy coast in the south of Spain, the Algarve in Portugal or a Greek island, it ain't likely to happen.  I should have started saving many years earlier to get anywhere close to that.  In the same way, a return to my homeland to settle in a Cornish or Norfolk coastal cottage is unlikely - liquidating all our property here will only raise a decent deposit for such a place, and no-one is likely to provide me with a mortgage (my pension would nowhere near cover it, not even close!).  Besides, sad as it is to write this, I'm not sure I could live in England now - it's not the place I grew up in and the changes that inevitably come anywhere to anyone have not been kind.  And I've changed too.  I'm simply not the man who jumped on an A320 at Heathrow back in 2000 to start a long-term project in this strange and dreary country called Poland (and how wrong that impression turned out to be!)

So movin' out - yes, sooner rather than later, but where to?   And a small apartment rather than a house would be better too - less work to maintain (gardening and DIY have never been my strengths, although I do enjoy a potter at my plot).   Time to stop thinking and start doing something about it, perhaps.





 

Well done the weather walkers!

It's good to see so many people on the streets today, protesting climate change.  I have to say had I known about the event I would have joined in the march here in Warsaw - assuming there is one (I've seen nothing ov tv about one yet).  But from what I've seen so far on my main news source, the BBC World News channel and website, the marches across the world have attracted not just school and college kids but tens of thousands of concerned individuals of all ages.  And not a hint of trouble (as I write, early afternoon in a cool cloudy Polish capital).  This is all good.

Forget Brexit.  Discount Trump's and Democratic candidates' posturing. Ignore the US - China trade war that threatens the entire global economy.  It seems to me the Number One threat to this planet, and all of us who live on it is Climate Change.  Global Warming if you prefer.  If it isn't addressed by all of us, and soon, the place will be changed so much international trade, global economics, capitalism, Islamic terrorism, the whole lot, will be unsupportable in any case.  A good proportion of the planet will be places where, conservatively, it will be difficult to live and prosper, never mind indulge in petty squabbles about my God's better than your God, or whose food is best, or whether US cars are better than German (hint: it's not the American).  Whole countries will have disappeared under rising seas (the Maldives and Polynesia, for instance) and others changed forever and reduced in size by the same catastrophe (the Netherlands, parts of the eastern United Kingdom and eastern coast of the USA, many others).  It's happening already.

The threat, no matter what nay sayers may claim, is real.  The science shows time after time, that both polar ice caps are melting, and faster than anticipated even five years ago.  This alone is enough to concern us all, since it will directly cause the sea level rises.  Study after study shows increasing levels of greenhouse gases in our atmosphere that are clearly affecting our weather patterns.  There are more tornadoes every year in the US.  Hurricanes and typhoons are more frequent and more powerful.  The frequency of severe weather - whether extraordinarily high rainfall and exceptional flooding, more sustained periods of drought, a greater incidence of uncontrolled forest fires (as far apart as California and Siberia and Australia) or greater snowfall in areas where such events were previously rare - increases year on year.

A friend of mine (well, an old colleague at any rate) insists that there is no such thing as climate change or global warming.  This is all a cyclical variation in normal weather patterns, he says.  But then what does he know?  He's also a rampant Brexit zealot and thus incapable of reasoned discussion.  The Orange Occupant of the White House, President of the biggest polluter of them all, is an even bigger, and hence more dangerous due his position, sceptic.  To him, climate change is all a hoax dreamed up and organised by the Chinese to damage American industry, trade and its economy.  To combat which he increases coal production, grants more fracking licences in the first year in office than in the entire Obama presidency (according to some reports), rolls back environmental protection laws that have been in place for many years, and overrules states like California that take the problem seriously and introduce their own measures to mitigate damage.  Oh, and unilaterally withdraws from the Paris Climate Accords because "they're a bad deal that damages America".  Fuck the planet - America First!

When there are people like this in positions of power, whether politically or in business, then it will remain difficult to change the bleak future that has been predicted.  A period of a mere 11 years (that is the same as my daughter's age - a very short time!) before irreversible climate change tips us over the edge into a difficult and uncertain future is the current estimate.  But some reports suggest that things are happening even quicker and that 11 years projection may in fact be generous.  To be clear: Climate Change cannot now be stopped, the most we can hope to do is slow it and mitigate its effects. 

There are business leaders who have made commitments that will help to do this - in particular the major tech companies like Apple, Google and Amazon, all with commitments to become carbon neutral within a relatively short time span (up to ten years), and all of whom are investing billions of dollars in measures to do so.  There are also a lot of governments who have made grand sounding pledges for their entire countries to become carbon neutral (clearly a much harder thing to achieve) but their time frames are typically in the range of 30 years - so by 2050 - which will of course be far too late.

The problem is the world is still too reliant on carbon fuels - gas guzzling cars and buses and trucks and (worst of all) airplanes, coal and oil burning power plants to provide our electricity to homes and industry.  There are many movements and activists trying to make us all more aware of our carbon footprint and reduce our reliance on fossil fuels, take fewer flights and make less car and bus journeys, but in many rural areas and Third World countries these measures are often impractical or at worst impossible to attain.  But the efforts must continue - indeed increase.  There are many sloar farms abd wind turbine farms scattered around the world, and more are needed.  Governments world wide must do their part to move us all away from fossil fuels, the big polluters, towards more sustainable and renewable energy sources.  Whether wind power, solar power, the still untrusted but vital atomic power, and others still theoretical like nuclear fusion, is immaterial.  A mix of all them is needed. 

The issue of course is cost.  All of these changes will cost trillions of dollars to deliver in the time frame available (or close to it) and governments world wide are reluctant to commit these vast sums of money when there are more immediate local problems for them to confront - policing, health care, aging populations, unemployment, border security and terrorism.....to name just a few.  This is quite understandable, but at some point - and some point VERY soon - governments are going to have to bite the bullet and address the climate change catastrophe properly.  The Paris Accords - no mater what Trump may insist - were a decent starting point and one that needs to be built upon, whether or not the US are involved.

And if that means that we, as individuals, have to pay more taxes to fund the investments that will be required then so be it.  If services like power and heating (from whatever source) increase in price then fine.  If we have to drive less and take fewer holiday or business flights (and pay premium prices when we do so) then bring it on.  It seems to me that is a price worth paying to allow life to continue - and hopefully flourish - on this planet of ours.

I hope today's demonstrators, whether in Australia, across Asia, in wealthy Europe and poor Africa and India, and especially in gas guzzling wealthy America, make their local politicians sit up and take notice.  And if they don't I hope they do it again.  And again.  As many times as necessary.

And next time - for there WILL be a next time! - I fully intend to walk with them.

Oh we do like to be beside the seaside.....

One of the delights of Poland, one that never gets the recognition it deserves in my view, is the quality of its Baltic Sea coastal resorts. Personally, I love them. Here is why.

First and foremost, the beaches are superb along the entire length of the coast from the German border to that of the Russian enclave at Kaliningrad. They have a character like no other I have come across elsewhere – kilometre after kilometre of golden sands, with hardly any pebbles or stones anywhere, backed up by forests that vary in width between a hundred metres to perhaps a kilometre before you come to a road. Between the trees, that give a welcome shade from what can be a surprisingly hot summer sun, there are sandy dunes criss-crossed by networks of foot- and cycle-paths winding in and out of the trees making for a pleasant walk before and after your beach lounging. There is plenty of grass and heathers and forest flowers as well. Lovely.

Where the beaches are close to a town or resort village, every 50 metres or so in the sand there are blue refuse sacks, which people use to keep the beach pristine (unlike other places I’ve been to where you have to pick your way through the trash on your way to and from the beach). It’s rare to find junk just dumped and left in the sand, buried cigarette butts notwithstanding, and even they seem to be less common these days. In these areas too there are usually two or three beach bars scattered around the beach entrances, serving a variety of hot and cold food and the local beers, always cold and cheap in comparison with the price you would pay elsewhere. There are also squads of vendors traipsing along the sands selling bags of popcorn and nachos and corn-on-the-cob, and usually soft drinks. They do good business, but I don’t envy them – it must be hard work, especially on the hotter summer days, slogging along acres of sand for little reward.

The beaches all have steps or paths leading in from the adjoining woods every half kilometre or so, so access is safe and easy. For town beaches there are generally plenty of free parking spaces in the streets, as well as secure and paid car parks. The beaches here tend to be quite crowded, with acres of colourful windbreaks marking your section of precious sand, and as the tide line never seems to vary by more than a couple of feet per tide, you can park yourself right on the surf line. Out of town beaches tend to be emptier, though rarely deserted, and lack the beach bars and hawkers (though often there are still trash bags). I’m not a fan of crowded beaches, so we tend to drive perhaps three or four kilometres (say half a dozen beach entrances – most are numbered and all clearly signed), park at the side of the road and just under the shade of the forest, then walk to find a bit more elbow room. Well worth the effort.

The Baltic has a deserved reputation as one of the coldest seas in the world, but in the summer, especially the hotter and sunnier ones that we are blessed with in these days of global warming (and I know that in itself is a curse) it’s still fine for bathing. I would suggest it is no colder than the English Channel or North Sea that I was used to for most of my life, and I’m happy to go in for a dip. It can be quite rough, with big waves and strong currents, so care has to be taken, but for all that, great fun. The busier or more dangerous beaches are well known and well patrolled by lifeguards, but that still does not prevent regular drowning tragedies. But I don’t think any more than elsewhere.

Second, the resorts themselves, whether the stolid Germanic and well paved towns and villages in the far west of the coast, in what was once part of Prussia, or the shabbier places to the east where a Communist influence and poorer roads and footpaths prevail, are full of cheap and cheerful restaurants offering a huge variety of fresh fish dishes and traditional, filling Polish fare like pierogi, zapikanki, chicken and pork cutlets with potatoes in various styles (chips, of course, boiled, or ground up and fried as pancakes), fresh vegetables and salads alongside the ubiquitous pizzas, burgers (but not McDonalds) and kebabs.

And then there are the ice-creams. Forget the good old Walls’ 99s with their Cadbury’s chocolate flakes stuffed into the ice cream, or the Magnum lollies and other British favourites, and enjoy delicious cornets stuffed full of spiralled ice cream three or four inches high, maybe more if you’re a regular customer at a particular stall, in vanilla, chocolate or a mix of both, or lovely soft Italian style cornets in the same flavour mixes. Then there are Polish family brands like Grycan offering a huge range of flavoured ice-creams and sorbets. Every one delicious – and that’s without adding a selection of toppings like ground nuts, chocolate chips, and coloured chips (in England, hundreds-and-thousands) or sauces (strawberry and chocolate are favourites).

Let’s not forget the Polish speciality – gofry (it’s pronounced go-free), which is a sweet waffle topped with powdered sugar, or Nutella chocolate sauce, or whipped squirty cream smothered in fresh fruits (finely chopped strawberries, raspberries, blackcurrants, blueberries, pineapples and peaches) with again a dousing in fruit sauces. With food of this quality and value it’s no wonder I regularly put on a few kilos each trip!

Finally, there is the shopping.   Again common to any resort is the huge numbers of gift shops and jewellery stalls, and clothing stalls typically run or sponsored by major Polish brands like 4F, or internationals like cropp, house and adidas. The goods in these are the same as you would find in one of their city mall locations but cheaper – they have kept me in shorts and tee-shirts for years. In the gift shops there are the usual fridge magnets, invariably tailored for the resort you’re in, and coffee mugs, similarly decorated, a variety of ornaments made from glass, seashells and stuff, all with a distinctly nautical flavour as you would expect. There are also earrings and necklaces made from locally sourced amber (the Baltic coast is world famous for it) and again small seashells, plus a huge range of bracelets and hippy beads. There are even stalls selling proper gold and silver stuff. All sensibly priced and decent quality.

Much as I have enjoyed (and will hopefully continue to enjoy) my overseas trips to places like Croatia and Spain, Portugal and the Greek islands, where I can usually rely on a couple of weeks’ decent weather and a sea as warm as bathwater, I find something comforting in coming back to the coast here. Whether westerly Mrzeżyno (where we have stayed this last couple of weeks), centrally located Rowy, Ustka and our old favourite Jastrębia Góra, or easterly Sztutowo and Krynica Morska, within a few kilometres of the border with Russian Kaliningrad, they are lovely places well worth a visit – and visit them I will!

A trip back

Right, the dust has settled from my latest English visit.  I've been home a week and had time to reflect.  So, a few thoughts - not all of them palatable, I'm sure.



First up, I had a great time, as usual.  My daughter and I travelled on a LOT rewards flight  so the cost was minimal, and both flights between Heathrow and Warsaw were pleasant enough.  As usual with the airline (a flag carrier increasingly masquerading as a slightly posher RyanAir) the outgoing Embraer 190 and returning Boeing 737-800 flights were comfortable, even if Economy Class catering only runs to a coffee or tea and a chocolate wafer biscuit - poor fare for a flight of over 2 hours.  But outbound we managed to get access to the Business Lounge on my Star Alliance Frequent Traveller Silver Card, so we had a decent fill of hot food, pastries and drinks before boarding.  The privilege wasn't returned at Heathrow, where I was brusquely informed I could go in the Lounge but my 11 year old travelling companion would have to wait outside as "the lounge was very busy".  From where we were standing at the reception desk it looked half empty, but there you go - no room at the inn, so Boots sandwiches (for budget reasons) it was.  Coming on top of a close to an hour check in delay because the entire Terminal 2 baggage handling system broke down as we arrived, meaning we had to wait for harassed handlers to turn up with trolleys to manually collect our bags (one of which did not arrive in Warsaw until the Thursday - we flew on Tuesday), it kind of took the gloss off both the shiny new Queens Terminal and the entire trip.

But my sons and my elder sister were as ever very welcoming, and I really enjoyed playing
Grandad Bob while my daughter revelled in being Auntie Ally looking after 3 lovely and energetic 2 year olds.  We split our time between north Kent, where my boys live, and my sister's country cottage a couple of miles inland from the north Norfolk coast close to Wells-next-Sea and Hunstanton.  By and large, while typical for July in England - that is to say warm to hot with a mix of sunshine and cloud with the odd shower - the weather meant we only managed a couple of beach trips.  It was a marked contrast to the three or four weeks of clear skies and 30C plus we had been basking in in Warsaw before the trip.

We had a good day trip around the Norfolk coast from Hunstanton to Great Yarmouth, along the coast road, and managed a paddle or two along the way, then the next day a shopping trip to Kings Lynn and Hunstanton gave further paddling opportunities that my daughter happily took.  I've been to the area many times over the years - my sister has lived at Docking more than 20 - and remarkably neither Lynn nor Sunny Hunny have changed much in all that time (except to get more shabby and run down looking, especially Lynn), and the road between them past Sandringham plagued with more traffic.

Then on the following weekend, we all piled into my son's pick up truck and headed off to Dymchurch on the Kent coast, in a more continental 27C and sunshine.   I've driven through it a couple times years ago but never stopped, and it was a very nice surprise.  The tide was fully in to the steps leading onto the beach so we had to wait a couple of hours before there was sand enough to leave the promenade, but it was worth the wait.  The beach was beautiful, clean and sandy, and pretty much empty, and excellent for sand-castles,  The sea was surprisingly warm, but having forgotten swimsuits we had to settle again for paddles.  We had a good time with the only down side being the travel, particularly homeward, which was a nightmare - of which more in a minute.

The final excursion we had was to my birth town, Edenbridge, close to the Kent-Sussex border.  My mum and dad are buried together there, and I always make a pilgrimage to put fresh flowers on the grave.  The town has changed tremendously since I last lived there, way back in 1978, and now boasts a set of traffic lights at the top of the High Street.  But the police station is now a block of flats, the secondary modern (sorry, comprehensive) school has closed, its extensive playing fields now modern hosing estates.  At the Primary school, the open air swimming pool my parents scrimped and saved and laboured to help build is gone, filled in, concreted over and turned into a netball court.   The White Horse Hotel, a fine pub in my youth, is now just another Costa Coffee outlet, and many of the High Street shops have either closed down or changed into antique shops.  In the Square, where my old residence Church Street meets the High Street, there used to be a ladies' hairdressers, a small bookshop, a toy and fishing tackle shop, a tobacconist and sweetshop and a grocery store   They are all now antique stores, as is the tobacconists across the road where I used to go every Saturday night as a child to buy my dad ten cigarettes and the classified edition of the Evening News that he used to check his football pools.

The character of the town has gone, but that I guess is the price of progress.  However, I did discover some compensation, with the Eden Valley Museum, now open for business in the old Church House, where in my youngest days I used to go to bible class (and right next door to the Crown Inn, where my sister worked the bar for many years and my cousin Sam and his group the Croppers used to host the Edenbridge Folk Club in an upstairs room.  I remember seeing the Strawbs live there, just before they recruited Rick Wakeman, went electric and had a top ten hit with Part of the Union - I preferred their acoustic set, it was brilliant).    We had a lovely hour wandering around, looking at the old pictures and exhibits and chatting to the two ladies running it - and all for free.  There were so many memories: a picture of my auntie, who ran a sweet shop in the High Street and gave me bags of dolly mixtures, pink candy shrimps, lemon bon-bons and all kinds of goodies pretty much every day; a group of people from the well known local builder's merchants with my old football coach prominent (he is still around, a sprightly 85 or so, and a regular contributor to the historical society magazine) and many picture of the epic floods in late 1968 that left our house (a good half mile from the river) with 3 feet or of filthy flood water in the front room, but rewarded me with a week or two off school ("clearing up the mess, sir...").  The museum visit was possibly the highlight of the entire trip (at least for me).



But it was not, I'm afraid, an idyllic trip.  Put simply, England today is not the England I grew up in.  It's not even the England I left in 2000, when I started in earnest my travelling life that led me eventually to making a new life (and family) here in Poland.

Change happens. I understand that.  I've seen many examples, both good and bad, over the years, in many countries.  There is more, much more traffic on the roads, for instance - I remember driving from my sister's place in Norfolk to my then home in North Kent in not much more than an hour and a half in around 1997.  It was a midweek evening, but still - that journey time now would just about get you to the top of the A11 at Barton Mills, with a good 70-80 miles still to go.

Coming back from Dymchurch, the M20 has a contra-flow on the northbound carriageway that stretches from south of Ashford to just north of Maidstone.  We drove it early on a Sunday evening, when you would expect traffic to be at its lightest, but for the entire thirty odd miles we were stuck in slow moving lines of cars, buses and container lorries, inching their way up from the coast.  I don't think we got out of second gear for the entire trip, except when we stopped (again.....) and had to drop down to first.  It was hot, it was boring and incredibly frustrating - especially since there was not a trace of any roadworks going on over the length of the contraflow.  About half way there was a single stupid sign which read "Warning! Road works for at least 6 months.  Delays possible".  We read that as we sat motionless and fuming in the traffic jam.

But it is not actually roadworks.  No: the contraflow is at the forefront of the government's planning for the event (daily more likely) of a No Deal Brexit.  The contraflow will then turn into a lorry park for the ports of Dover and Folkestone, where additional security checks will of course be needed. So to satisfy zealots like Farage, and Johnson, Gove and Rees-Mogg, who between them managed to convince a clear but none the less small majority three years ago to vote to Leave the EU - without a fucking clue what that would actually mean or cost in practice - vast swathes of the Garden of England and its inhabitants are being subjected to increased traffic and pollution.  Good, eh?



Brexit has, of course, opened a veritable Pandora's Box of ills that had perhaps been festering for years (although I have no real recollection of them being as public or widely held in my younger days).  The north-south divide had been there since Thatcher's policies destroyed industries like coal mining, steel and shipbuilding in the north of the country, leaving communities of unemployed and unemployable living in deteriorating housing, whilst simultaneously pushing a free-market, wheeler-dealing, winner take all financial services industry in a de-regulated city of London in the south, where there were more winners than losers (including, I will admit, myself) living in ever bigger more expensive housing.  Council houses were sold off as part of the Tory dream (largely still a fiction) of a property and share owning well to do middle class democracy, and the houses disposed of in this way have never been adequately replaced.

To this already potent mix, the campaign in 2016 added a big smattering of anti - Islamic racism, a dollop of anti - European hatred (an innocent tax paying Polish resident, married with kids of dual Polish - British citizenship - much like mine, in fact - murdered in the lead up to voting by some snotty little Essex boy because "he spoke funny"), and a good wedge of Little Englander hysteria (another tragedy - a well respected Labour politician knifed to death, leaving a husband and two young children, by a maniac yelling "Britain First!").  Lies and misrepresentation was liberally used by both sides of the campaign, and there was a marked absence of reasoned and truthful debate of the issues faced by the entire country.  It split families and relationships and communities on lines other than party political - on the basis of age (Brexiteers tended to be older), on the basis of nationality and religion, on employment (the unemployed or those in manufacturing industry tended to be Brexiteers, whilst those in service industries such as banking and insurance, tended to want to Remain).

After the result, the inability of the government to deliver Brexit has led to more and more anger and frustration, with Parliament itself being even more split than the country it claims to represent.  Two Prime Ministers have resigned over the issue (neither will be missed) and the day we flew home Boris Johnson was elected by 150,000 or so Tory members to be the PM for 60 odd million of us who by and large can neither trust nor stand the man, nor believe a word he says.  This is the man at the forefront of the Leave campaign, trundling around in a red bus emblazoned with the slogan "Leave EU - deliver £350million a week extra for the NHS!" - a lie that suckered in thousands of voters.  The man who announced that "Turkey is about to join the EU and open our borders to sixty million Muslim terrorists" - ignoring the facts that a) this means every living Turk, from moments old to aged senility must be a terrorist, since that number was the TOTAL population of Turkey, and b) despite over 20 years of discussions, the country has met only a handful of the 25 or more conditions laid upon it before the country can even be considered for membership, so is unlikely to join the EU at all in our lifetimes.  This little yarn opened the way to even more anti Muslim rhetoric and screams of we want our country back from the British National Party and a host of related hard-right extremist thugs.

I could write at length about this entire shitshow that will take a generation to clear up and heal the wounds in society (never mind the broken economy that will soon be upon us), but frankly it's way too depressing!  What I WILL say is that in my many trips back to England since the vote, I have noticed that the anger and frustration in a divided nation, far from being healed and brought together (as promised ad nauseum by politicians of all parties) has in fact become even more strident and widespread.  Question Time on the BBC is no longer an entertaining chance to allow politicians to explain and debate priorities and the country's needs and has descended into a weekly bearpit of anger with a studio audience baying abuse at a panel of second rate no-mark and wannabe politicians more intent on abusing and blaming each other by soundbite than attempting to answer the questions raised.  Once Must See TV, I never watch it now.  The same goes for the Andrew Marr Show and Sunday Politics - they have been my means of keeping track on what is happening in my homeland for years, but no more.  I find it sad.

Britain is an angry country now.  Two times on this trip I was involved in incidents that even a year or two ago I'm sure would not have happened.  The first was in the car park of a Lidl store in Kings Lynn.  I was reversing out of a parking space, and stopped to allow a camper van to pass behind me.  Then I finished the manoeuvre and headed to the exit.  Within yards I came across the same van backing into a space, and stopped to let him park.  I smiled and waved to him to carry on.  As he  backed in, the passenger door opened and a burly young man leapt out and started gesturing and yelling abuse at me.  No idea why.  I left them to it.  The second was in Bluewater shopping centre at Dartford.  My daughter and I were walking along when my mobile rang.  I pulled it out of my pocket, still strolling slowly along, and glanced at the screen to see who was calling.  A guy walking the opposite direction, shaven headed, overweight, shorts sand trainers, barged past with "Out the fuckin' way!" yelled at me.  I ignored him, mainly because my daughter was with me.



How and when this will change I have no idea, but I suspect it will be many years - perhaps not in my lifetime.  I love England - it has many lovely places and, by and large, lovely people.  With family and grandkids there I have ties that will not be broken, and I will continue to visit them for as long as I can.  But it seems to me there is a sickness there that is blighting society.  I can't blame it all on Brexit, that would be both too easy and simply wrong.  Nor can I guess at how it will heal or how long that process will take.  But sadly it is no longer a place I would be happy to live - even if I could afford to (another issue - everything is so expensive now!  My pension won't stretch that far.).

It will always be my homeland - but no longer my home.

Getting Old....

“Genteel” is a word not much used nowadays. "Growing old gracefully", it usually meant.

It typically describes the elderly, living out their twilight years, sitting quietly at home sipping tea from bone china cups and saucers and munching on small sandwiches and cream cakes and biscuits. The ladies were usually portrayed wearing flower patterned pinafore dresses under soft wool cardigans, with perhaps an apron over that, and slippers. In summer the scene would shift to a sunlit flowery garden, and wide brimmed straw hats would make an appearance. The gentlemen, meanwhile, invariably wore grey flannel trousers neatly pressed and with turn-ups, perhaps with braces and always a shiny black leather belt for support, a tawny checked shirt with a green or brown knitted tie, topped by a grey v-necked pullover. In summer, this might be replaced by a sleeveless grey v-necked pullover and a trilby or cloth cap (dark grey or dark green gingham check and bought from Barbour of course). Both wore slippers: the ladies’ typically were pastel coloured with a kind of off-white sheepskin ruff around the ankle, while the gentlemen's tended to light brown, probably with a thin dark brown check pattern, and fur lined. Outside in summer, the slippers might be replaced by a pair of sensible and highly polished black leather shoes (or perhaps soft brown leather loafers with thin crepe soles).

The ladies would be reading magazines like Woman, or Women's Own, Country Life or The Lady. The men were usually labouring away at The Times crossword puzzle, or harrumphing over the Reader's Letters page. In the background a radio would be playing softly, the BBC Home Service (classical music and current affairs programming) or the BBC Light Programme (popular music). In the summer, live commentary from the Test cricket or Wimbledon tennis would also feature. Conversation might be desultory, often angry or critical, and driven by the content of the press and radio programming.

This is all 1960s and ‘70s stereotyping of course, and anyone familiar with latter day tv sitcoms like One Foot In The Grave or Terry and June will recognise them immediately. I remember both, vividly, and also my nan – who fitted the genteel definition to a T, bless her. My mum had her moments too, but was generally less genteel in her old age. Dad missed out on that, dying at the young age of 56, but the picture painted here fitted him well enough anyway, with the exceptions of the newspaper (he always read either the Daily Sketch or, after its demise, the Daily Mirror – as befitted the proud working class gardener he was) and the packet of cigarettes, Swan Vestas matches and ash-tray on the table next to him.

Of course, not everyone fitted the ideal. Many people were a lot louder and brasher in their retirement, regular visitors to working men’s clubs and local pubs at any time of day or night, especially in bigger towns and cities, for a game of darts or bar-billiards, or a good old political/sport/religious row (delete as required). But still, they were content to do not so much, after a hard working of life of 50-odd years, and able to live off their pensions.

Things have changed.

For a start, pensions have been considerably devalued in the intervening years. Sure, they've gone up, but still not in step with price increases. Living on a pension alone is incredibly difficult now, especially for those who still have some household debt like mortgages and loans and not much in the way of savings. I know this because although I am pretty much debt free and live in a country where goods, food and services are a lot cheaper, my pensions from 50 years' hard work barely cover what I need - and that's with a reasonably favourable exchange rate. This time next year it may well be more difficult, given the Brexit Shit Show is now running hell for leather towards a No Deal with all the devastating effects that will likely mean to Britain's economy and currency. The theft of taxing my income from what are essentially a lifetime's savings accrued through income tax, national insurance contributions and private plans (meaning I'm being taxed twice on the same money!) makes no sense to me. Beyond the old chestnut of "well, that's what the government wants/law says" - which is all the explanation any financial advisor or accountant has ever been prepared or able to give me - means nothing.

Second, people live longer and are healthy longer. This of course means we are expected to work longer with talk of a retirement age of 70 increasing. Physically - fine: I'm sure most people will be fit enough to work another few years, but would most of them really WANT to? I know I had had enough at 65 but did another year anyway. By the time I approached 66 it just seemed enough was enough - it was increasingly hard to raise any enthusiasm and there were other things I wanted to do with my life. Another 4 years' mandatory graft would have driven me nuts (or nuttier, anyway) - not because I am neither strong nor healthy enough to do it but simply because it no longer floats the boat.

But living longer and being healthier, and crucially stronger and fitter, means that people of 60 or so (when traditionally gentility set in) don't actually WANT to vegetate in front of the radio and munch cucumber sandwiches. We still want to be doing things. So we do.

The number of seniors (a much nicer term than old age pensioners, in my view) taking foreign holidays, camping, hiking, and back packing rather than on Saga all-inclusive coach trips or package holidays, has never been higher, despite the issues we all suffer in terms of pension income described above. The number of grey haired and bearded bikers roaring around on motor bikes is rising. Ditto those in renovated sports cars - or indeed any car. Not all of us are dragging caravans around behind the car - camper vans, self contained and easier to manoeuvre and park are increasing in popularity too and give the freedom to travel on our terms. I quite fancy one myself, actually. And there are tents, lighter and easier to carry and erect than ever before. In a nutshell, we are more adventurous these days.

We want to remain active as well, and this doesn't mean hanging around the local crown green bowling club dressed in immaculate whites. It means getting out and doing things. My 72 year old widowed mother-in-law has been going to university here for a couple of years now, and as well as meeting a whole raft of new friends she gets to go to the opera, to concerts and on various trips to resorts here and overseas with them. I have no idea what course she's taking, but she's enjoying herself for sure. Back in England an old friend and work colleague started a University course (a BA, I think) in European History at London University when he turned 70, and is loving it. Another old friend has recently been elected to represent the Conservative Party on his local council back in the UK at 66. Funds permitting, I would happily enrol in a degree at the Open University – but unfortunately funds do not permit.

Of course, in some areas people quite happily work well beyond pensionable age - the arts being particularly fertile ground. Just because you're over 65 doesn't mean your brain switches off. Writers still write (or, like me, start writing more), painters paint, and musicians - well, what can I say? They go on forever. Bruce Springsteen (age 69) has just released a new and critically acclaimed album, Phil Collins (68) despite arthritis, is touring again - the wonderfully named Not Dead Yet Tour - selling out stadia worldwide (Warsaw last week: some friends went and said it was great). Rod Stewart (74) and Chris de Burgh (70) are playing over here later this year and sold out already. As for the Stones, all of them well over 70, they have just paused their latest World Tour to allow Mick Jagger (75) to have his heart valves replaced. He's now back in the gym and the band back in the rehearsal room with the No Filter Tour set to continue. More power to their elbows, says I - and to their music, too. Heroes all.

And what of myself?

Well, I’ve done the suits, ties and shiny shoes bit, putting on a (perhaps false) impression in the office. I’ve served my time commuting in a variety of places, some easy and some appalling, but most hot and sweaty whatever the climate. I’ve had my fill of early morning and late night flights to and from places I don’t want to be in but have had to go to to satisfy someone else’s demands. Ditto the uncomfortable hotel beds with too soft pillows wrecking my neck and my back.

My suits and shirts and ties are now confined to my wardrobe, gathering dust. At some point I must have a sort out and donate a lot of them to charities – I’m not going to need all of them, just the better ones at Easter, Christmas and, perhaps, family events like weddings and Christenings, First Communions and, at some point, funerals.

Now, all I need are jeans, tee-shirts, sweaters and trainers, plus a parka, waterproof jacket and ski-jacket for winter. In summer substitute shorts and sandals. Some chinos and casual shirts for evenings out. I have a big selection of baseball caps, at least one from everywhere my travels have taken me (apart from Chennai), and two or three cloth caps like dad’s. Plenty to be going on with.

Physically, I’m ok, carrying a bit of weight, but walk and bike a lot to keep it manageable. What’s left of my hair is white, which matches the goatee. I don’t shave every day but trim the goat and shave my head every couple of weeks, or when my wife and daughter tell me to. Unlike a good many seniors these days, I have no body piercings or ear-rings – I don’t understand them. I have a set of tattoos, a 60^th birthday gift from my wife. On one upper arm are my birth sign and those of my eldest sons, and on the other the Chinese horoscope signs for me, my wife and youngest kids. They look cool, now they’ve faded and weathered in a bit, especially when I’ve been out in the sun and worked up a bit of a tan.

Jewellery? My wedding ring on one hand and on the other the signet ring my dad gave me on my 18^th birthday, the year before he passed. I have a silver chain loaded with a small St. Christopher medallion from a market stall outside the Vatican, a tab I bought in Egypt that holds my name in hieroglyphics (including a perfect Lost in Translation spelling mistake), and a very small badge from a leather bracelet, long since rotted away, that bears a likeness of a pre-historic cave painting and is the symbol of the Almeria province in southern Spain, where it was found. Finally, bought at a market stall in small Polish seaside village, a string bracelet carrying seven Ban The Bomb symbols in mock ivory.

In short, if someone described me as “an ageing hippy”, I would be happy with that.

It seems to me that the great thing about growing old(er) in mind and body is that you lose your inhibitions along with the need to keep up appearances (another BBC sitcom from way back when that nicely caricatured gentility). It's certainly the case with me.

I've always had a rebellious streak, and I find it coming out more and more the older I get. I take, and am happy to communicate, strong views on a number of things these days, whether it be politics generally (and Brexit, Trump and populism more specifically), climate change and the environment, history, the future and the role of tech....any number of things. My views are not always in sync with either the popular view or those of whoever I'm talking too, and I admit to stretching them a bit to enliven the debate. But they are honestly held, and while I respect other people's views I reserve the right to strongly disagree with them, whether they like it or not. My late brother-in-law was similar, and I understand better now how and why, I think.

I have no problem wandering around wearing not very much. I'm not embarrassed about the extra weight I'm carrying, nor the bald head, nor any other physical imperfection, real or imagined. I am what I am, and my body is what it is – I can't really change any of it so I'm happy in my own skin. Whether that is an immature position to take or adult, brave or stupid, I neither know nor care.

The fact is I'm growing old Being able to write a piece like this helps me accept and explain the fact. And I intend to make that process last as long as possible - a telegram for the King (or an e-mail or whatever) on my 100th birthday would be good..  

The aim is to do it (dis)gracefully and enjoy the ride.